
Friends go visiting.
At our hearth, no time has passed.
Listen, we’re laughing.

Friends go visiting.
At our hearth, no time has passed.
Listen, we’re laughing.

Lots of short story goodness on the Locus Recommended Reading List!
I’m excited to see my short piece, “Thirteen of the Secrets in My Purse,” in there. I’m really excited to see how much it’s resonated with people!
Sometimes, it’s just good to write something a bit silly. I know, pandemic-wise, I’ve been craving fun and ridiculousness.
If you haven’t read it, it’s up at the inimitable Uncanny Magazine:
One: My lipstick.
The shade is Heart’s Blood.
Morbid, if you ask me.
I wanted to know if it was really the color of heart’s blood so I bought beef heart and tried dabbing my lips.
Close enough.
I emailed to congratulate the lipstick company on their realism. They did not respond.
If you like these cartoons blah blah blah you know the drill. Support my Patreon!
Qualified immunity is even more ridiculous than what’s in this comic strip.
Chad Reese and Patrick Jaicomo succinctly explained “qualified immunity” in the Washington Post:
Qualified immunity is a legal doctrine that shields all government workers — not just police — by default from federal constitutional lawsuits. Here’s how it works: If your constitutional rights are violated, the government workers who violated them cannot be sued (the “immunity” part) unless you can point to an earlier court case in your area holding that nearly identical conduct was unconstitutional (the “qualified” part). That means that government agents can knowingly and intentionally violate your rights, and you cannot sue them, thanks to qualified immunity.
Over time, courts have made the requirement for a precedent with nearly identical facts narrower and narrower. For instance, in the case about siccing a police dog on a suspect who had surrendered and was sitting with his hands up, it seemed there actually was a precedent with almost identical facts. But, as law professor Joanna Schwartz writes, “the hairsplitting… reaches absurd levels.”
Nashville police officers released their dog on Alexander Baxter, a burglary suspect, who had surrendered and was sitting with his hands raised. A prior decision in the 6th Circuit had held that officers violated the Fourth Amendment when they released a police dog on a suspect who had surrendered by lying down. But the appeals court ruled that this precedent did not “clearly establish” that it was unconstitutional to release a police dog on a surrendering suspect sitting with his arms raised.
Sonia Sotomayor, in a dissent, summed it up.
[The Court’s ruling on qualified immunity] tells officers that they can shoot first and think later, and it tells the public that palpably unreasonable conduct will go unpunished. [The Court is] effectively treating qualified immunity as an absolute shield.
So many real-life qualified immunity cases are already so ludicrous that there’s no need to exaggerate them for a comic strip; I just had to find a way to frame the cases. The hardest part of writing this strip was trying to find a way to fit a description of each case into the tiny space I allotted for the captions. (I could have given myself more space, but many readers start skimming when faced with large blocks of text).
I had a lot of fun drawing Earl Warren, the Supreme Court justice who wrote the first qualified immunity decision. It’s very relaxing to draw a caricature when it doesn’t matter at all if the cartoon is actually a good resemblance. But I really had a blast drawing that German shepherd. I should have stopped cross-hatching much earlier than I did, but I was enjoying myself too much.
One odd thing about doing comic strips critical of the police: I’ve gotten so much better at drawing cop uniforms.
TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC
This comic has seven panels. The first six panels are squarish, arranged in a two across three down grid; the final panel goes all the way across the bottom.
PANEL 1
This panel shows Barry (the cartoonist) speaking overly cheerfully to the readers, and gesturing towards the very large letters of the title.
At the top of the panel is some introductory text.
TEXT: The Supreme Court decided public officials aren’t responsible for violating our rights if they don’t know they’re violating rights.
TEXT: Which brings us to our game! It’s simple. You only have to guess…
Very large title lettering: IS IT FICTION OR IS IT QUALIFIED IMMUNITY?
BARRY (smaller letters): Winners get nothing.
PANEL 2
A white man in judicial robes speaks directly to the viewer. He’s got wide eyes and is smiling, like he’s a proud father just after a baby is born. Behind him, three other white male judges look on. The front white man is holding a scroll with writing on it; but it’s swaddled in cloth, and the man is holding it as if it’s a baby.
CAPTION: 1967: In the very first Q.I. case, the Supreme Court said it’s okay to arrest people for being black in a coffee shop, as long as the cops believed it was against the law.
JUDGE: We’re calling it
Qualified Immunity!
Note: In this panel, and in all the following panels, the words “qualified immunity” are always on their own line, and alternate between being all red and all blue. These are the same colors used in the title lettering.
PANEL 3
A police officer, in a uniform shirt (clack tie, badges, etc) smiles and shrugs as they talk to the readers. But they have a dog’s head instead of a human head – the head of a big German shepherd.
CAPTION: 2018: The sixth circuit ruled that police couldn’t be expected to know not to sic police dogs on suspects who have surrendered and are sitting on the ground.
Qualified Immunity!
POLICE DOG: There was just no way to know!
PANEL 4
This panels shows a man in a prison guard uniform, including a billed cap and a shoulder-mounted walkie talkie, talking to someone off-panel. He looks annoyed. Behind him is a cell door, which is solid (rather than having bars) and has a small metal panel that can be opened on this side.
CAPTION: 2017: A prisoner asked to buy snacks from the commissary… so they threw him in solitary confinement for over a year. The second circuit court said: “how could they know?”
Qualified Immunity!
GUARD: Einstein himself couldn’t have guessed that was wrong!
PANEL 5
A couple of school staff types – a balding man with half-moon glasses, wearing a jacket and tie (a stereotypical principal) and a younger woman with read hair in a thick braid, are talking to each other. The man is slapping his forehead, and the woman is looking down at the floor.
CAPTION: 2009: The Supreme Court decided that school staff had no way of knowing they shouldn’t strip-search a 13-year-old schoolgirl.
Qualified Immunity!
PRINCIPAL: We’re supposed to NOT strip-search little girls?
TEACHER: Who knew?
PANEL 6
A man in short-sleeved police uniform, and with a thick mustache, angrily talks to the reader. Behind him we can see a sidewalk, grass, a bit of a tree; it looks a little suburban.
CAPTION: 2019: A cop shoots a kid in a yard filled with children, although he was actually trying to shoot their peaceful dog. The 11th circuit court said cops can’t be expected to know better.
Qualified Immunity!
COP: How could I know not to shoot dogs and children? I’m not a wizard!
PANEL 7
This is a full-width panel at the bottom of the strip. The panel contains a caption in large, friendly letters: ANSWERS
Barry the cartoonist is back, talking to the reader, grinning too wide yet looking distressed, sweating.
BARRY: You guessed it— all these cases are real!
BARRY: Because we live in a near-police state where cops are never held accountable! USA! USA!
This month, my patrons are receiving an exclusive flash piece, “An Alphabetical Guide to Potential Building Materials for Aspiring Urban Planners.”
I wrote this for the annual flash fiction contest I participate in every January/February. The goal is to write a piece of flash every weekend for five weeks. Last week was two of five. I had some trouble revving up my thought process until, with the deadline looming, I focused on the prompt, “What is your kingdom built of?”
As you might be able to tell from the title, it’s a bit (a lot) silly.
All my patrons receive an exclusive reward each month. There’s no specific amount required. I’m happy to share my creations with everyone who subscribes to my Patreon.
A is for Alligators
Challenging for inexperienced planners. They will bite when you try to stack them.
B is for Barricades
Though barricades make good walls by definition, beware barricading yourself out of your own city.
C is for Carbonara
Messy, but delicious. Do not continue eating your city after it’s been left unrefrigerated for more than three hours.
Thanks to all my current patrons. Every dollar helps keep me writing!


This is one of the images I used in Scragamuffin, the chapbook I released as October 2021’s exclusive Patreon reward. I thought it might be fun to release the pictures with the photos that inspired them.
Pete doesn’t look particularly happy about the hat, but he tolerated it. Zephyr was having none of the hat. I think Clone was just fine with the hat because it meant someone was paying attention to him. His entire goal in life was attention. For instance, during that visit, the other cats were skeptical of the dog. Clone, however, used him as a stepstool to get closer to human hands.


The cats cuddle close
wanting the warmth of my skin
offering their fur.

Cat drawing! Just Wander’s face this time when he was an adolescent with a half-grown mane.


Waiting in the cold,
trying not to let my mind
rush when all is calm.
If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting the Patreon! Getting lots of $1 and $2 pledges is our business model. Also, I just used the term “business model” in a sentence. Life is weird.
For at least forty years, police budgets have been going up. From GovTech:
All sorts of needed city services are starved for funding, but we keep spending a huge and ever-growing amount on policing. Luke Darby in GQ writes:
There’s little evidence, if any, to suggest that more police actually correlates to fewer crimes—and more aggressive policing, like so-called “broken windows” policing and New York’s stop-and-frisk policy, seems to only increase arrests for extremely minor offenses while stoking violent interactions between police and minorities. Yet the hard numbers show that public officials have favored police department funding over public health and other concerns.
Los Angeles is a prime example: Mayor Eric Garcetti’s 2020-2021 city budget gives police $3.14 billion out of the city’s $10.5 billion. That’s the single biggest line item, dwarfing, say, emergency management ($6 million) and economic development ($30 million). Garcetti is also planning to raise the LAPD’s budget by 7 percent—to support bonuses for officers who have a college degree—while he’s also trying to institute pay cuts for more than 24,000 civilian city workers (to cope with budgetary fallout from the coronavirus outbreak).
In New York, which has the largest budget for any police department in the country, Mayor Bill de Blasio has called to reduce the NYPD’s budget by $23.8 million—a step in the right direction, but only 0.4 percent of the department’s $5 billion budget. As Brooklyn College sociology professor Alex Vitale writes in the New York Post, “New York City spends more on policing than it does on the Departments of Health, Homeless Services, Housing Preservation and Development, and Youth and Community Development combined.”
More money for cops is less money for everything else – including some measures that might improve society and make police less necessary.
This was fun to draw. I de-emphasized drawing backgrounds so I could devote more time to drawing people – there are about 20 figures in this cartoon, which is a lot for me.
I had a particularly nice time drawing panel four. My favorite is the cop who is doing John Travolta’s famous finger-up pose from Saturday Night Fever.
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
(New drinking game! Every time I make a typo, take a drink. Don’t play this game if you have to drive later.)
This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a different scene, and has a different color palette.
PANEL 1
This panel, drawing with an orange-ish palette, shows a woman talking on the phone, looking a little panicked. Beside her, a wide-eyed child watches, looking very worried. Above them both is a large caption, in big green letters.
CAPTION: HOW CITY BUDGETS WORK
WOMAN: A six year waiting list? But we’re homeless now!
PANEL 2
This panel is colored in shades of purple.
A middle-aged woman wearing glasses and a striped dress is talking to a middle-aged man wearing a suit and tie. She looks wide-eyed and worried; he looks angry, glaring into space as he talks.
Behind them we can see a big window; various shapes (a banana, an apple, flowers, a star) have been cut out of paper and taped to the window. In front of them, we see mostly the heads and faces of a crowd of children, variously talking, smiling, making a peace sign, and dozing off (with a bit of drool).
WOMAN: But we can’t fit another 30 chairs into this classroom!
MAN: Chairs? City Hall says kids can stand.
PANEL 3
This panel is colored in very dreary shades of green.
We are looking through a doorway at a man with slightly shaggy hair, who sits unhappily at a cheap rectangular table in an otherwise empty room. Outside the room, leaning back as if he’s just calling something into the room while rushing past, a man wearing glasses and a jacket and tie, talks to the shaggy-haired man.
RUSHING MAN: Hi! I’m your public defender. Unfortunately, I’ve been assigned so many defendants that introducing myself is all the time I have for your case this month.
RUSHING MAN: See you at your trial!
PANEL 4
This panel is colored in shades of blue, except for the cash, which is colored in green.
A group of cops is dancing merrily while grinning. One cop waggles his midsection; one imitates John Travolta’s disco pose from “Saturday Night Fever”; a couple dances in a pair, arms on each other’s shoulders; a few others are kicking and throwing their arms up into the hair. It’s a celebration. Green cash is filling the air, raining down on them.
COPS (said by several in unison): MONEY DANCE!
“Caped Hero Spotted Over Skyline – only the most attentive viewers notice. End times sign?" I wasn't attentive enough to…